"In 1999, scientists gathered at Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico to solve our national traffic problem" (NorthJersey.com)
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| (Photo/Art: Copyright Control) |
The Atomic Grandpas and friends had built
the bomb just a few blocks from where the current Juniors are still playing with their super computers, simulating driving on congested highways. Why can’t we get anywhere asks the non driver? Well, it turns out that traffic when behaving like sardines, is deceptively smelly, oily and gives you fish head breath."It's a complicated problem which we could very easily solve", ventured a crafty employee, "but who wants to be living in a cardboard box when a twin piped, super-charged turbo is yours to thrash," cagey Colin continued. "It could be said to resemble molecular physics. In fact, that's exactly what we tell the deskies at LA's Dept of Big Jamms to get them off our backs. At meetings down town one of us likes to commence the avalanche for coffee with something like, "It’s a system of individual particles interacting in complex ways, which allows traffic to create minds of their own. There are three kinds of traffic; slow/nearly/and really stopped. And there's the lane switchers, curb crawlers and unstable regimes. That's stop-go to you. But next to the dubious-credentialed top rippers that get stacks of funding for Squirrels: Their Major Contribution to Global Warming; well, we're just little tequilas."
But now, after a decade or more with an aeon of time squandered on the tax payers tab with gaming, tennis and golf; finally in a soon to be published paper which can be downloaded at L/Td/24517grilo.com a synopsis of the empirical document reads: "more traffic, lost appointments, increased road rage."
