Beer Reclassified!

"Russia classifies beer as alcohol! Until now anything containing less than 10% alcohol in Russia has been considered a foodstuff."(BBC)  

Major Disappointment For Mr Six Pack! After 20 years of quaffing the golden nectar at 4.8% proof, there's scant pride in having cultivated that big extended belly; for on the Russian Richter it's really just the equivalent of having downed 6,523 Milkybars.

Many years ago, far away in the Land of Vodka, a lonely Ivan on the grave yard shift deep down in missile city, conscientiously worked his way through a 9.9% proof sandwich. And 19 year old Ivan was very partial to the contents of his Tupperware box. Between addressing his 9.9% friends, he'd nibble a wee choc bar as a nod to healthy living, before returning his faltering and rapidly failing attention to some serious 9.9% throat dispatching; attempting all the while to avoid any meaningful contact with a large red button.

 (Circa 1970)

Meanwhile somewhere in South Dakota, Mike & Mac, joint key holders to the portals of Armageddon, presided over a brood of Minuteman ballistics, medicating their nasal passages through many a weary hour...

Smell the roses every day.