"Heart experts say more leisure and some chocolate are good for you." (AFP)
"A greater part of any proposed daily physical activity in leisure time should be vigorously avoided. And why? Well, you can't ride a bike on black ice while pigging a box of your fav life savers."
Dr E. Expert popped a few in before he continued; first checking that funding from Chocolate World Inc. was indeed secure for a further five gobbly good years. "It's all based on the individuals own perception of greed intensity," Dr Eddy E said, while wiping the funding grin and orangy twirl remnants from his face. "In Choc-o-land there's no scientific evidence to prevent one from an Olympian 48hour 'Mammoth Maximus' choc-in; though beginners best bring along a biggish bowl and a non squeamish friend." But what about the 1950's Readers Digest section about laughter being the best medicine? "Hm...not exactly chemo," cautioned Eddy. "And as for hospital beds surrounded by flowers, foliage and fruit fly? All equally useless, as well as pissing off anal Nurse Tidies country wide".
In yet another report, Mitch Muller a professor at the University of Lazyland School of Medicine found similar proof in his newly funded study entitled, 'Similar Proof.' When asking volunteers to first watch a stressful movie such as "Bambi" followed by the yoga yawn promo, "Double Death 3" the Muller and his independent research team found both films irrelevant. Whereas, blood vessel linings, pulse and unhealthy responses to some questions about the vasoconstrictions were detected only in those who swapped chocs for popcorn before the lights-out fumble test.
Eighty per cent milky Muller stated that Lazyland's evidence had concurred with all the other institutes of bias and fat check receivers.
Off the record a perplexed Muller said, "The vigorous scientific pursuit of truth must take place somewhere....I suppose?"
"A greater part of any proposed daily physical activity in leisure time should be vigorously avoided. And why? Well, you can't ride a bike on black ice while pigging a box of your fav life savers."
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| Two hands; always much better than one. |
In yet another report, Mitch Muller a professor at the University of Lazyland School of Medicine found similar proof in his newly funded study entitled, 'Similar Proof.' When asking volunteers to first watch a stressful movie such as "Bambi" followed by the yoga yawn promo, "Double Death 3" the Muller and his independent research team found both films irrelevant. Whereas, blood vessel linings, pulse and unhealthy responses to some questions about the vasoconstrictions were detected only in those who swapped chocs for popcorn before the lights-out fumble test.
Eighty per cent milky Muller stated that Lazyland's evidence had concurred with all the other institutes of bias and fat check receivers.
Off the record a perplexed Muller said, "The vigorous scientific pursuit of truth must take place somewhere....I suppose?"
