All Shook Up

It was long before I knew anything about Tupelo or Memphis. Sun Records, Sam Phillips or the fair ground colonel. In '57 aged twelve, in a small sea side town the eight week long school holiday had begun. And one sunny morning on a Saturday I sat in Togs Cafe; pocket money, chilled Coke, sandy shore hands and then, some girl played the Juke Box.

Tog's of Troon

We all have places of association with a song from the beginnings of youth; of those special to us moments triggered in the present from a car radio or on passing an open window; when briefly we're delivered to days of beach time friendships where those times-ago faces remain, but names from these simple, summer days have faded.

I away used to sing: 'come on su-gar.' not ever connecting the obvious. Tog's Cafe is no more, but now at least I know the words...   (Photos: Copyright Control)

All Shook Up: T22

GREAT! Scrot Get's Four Years!

Here's one of the 'somewhat shocked'

"A Cheshire man who was jailed for using Facebook to incite disorder during last week's riots is to appeal against his sentence," his solicitor has said.
Jordan Blackshaw, from Marston, was jailed for four years at Chester Crown Court on Tuesday, along with Perry Sutcliffe-Keenan, 22, from Warrington. Blackshaw's solicitor said his 21-year-old client and his family were 'somewhat shocked by the sentence'. (BBC)
How about, if the scrot's appeal fails they double the sentence? As it stands they could charge a daily occupancy rate same as some Med dive would. Pay-as-you-stay kinda. I can hear the usual bleedin' heart snivelers already chanting the Human Rights chorus. How about if you behave like a scrot, then your Human Rights gets booted back to whence it came; for as it stands, every scurrilous lawyer miss uses it as a get out of jail card for their low life clients. Oh... and it's you the UK tax payer that indirectly pays for Frogmorton, Rippovsnic & Frogmortonson's top of the range Chelsea tractors.  

Audiophile Digital?

"The age of the digital audiophile - someone who demands the highest quality sound reproduction - seems to be upon us. But what are they getting for their money"? (BBC)

Why headphones, I enquired of Jim? "Headphones are my new socially responsible contribution to sound pollution, though the price can dent a youthful pocket." Mr F Loudin from the small unassuming office of SNB (Stopping Noisy Bastards) sat on the edge of Jim's shabby futon, nodding his approval. "Thin walls and big speakers are not a compatible combination, so they had to go." What's next from Mr Insufferable. "You see, the sound from loudspeakers is acoustically contoured by the listeners' head  before reaching the ear drums, and this interaction provides, in the form of crossfeed, phase and amplitude the necessary head-related transfer functions (HRTFs)." The death bore beamed through the ether to his audience of two."On the other hand," he resumed before I could pull his plug, "headphones are in the audio bandwith 20 Hz - 20kHz. Outside that range, sounds are not heard by most, except some 'golden eared' audiophiles!" Having only the brass appendages to keep from being road kill on a very foggy night; did the pompous plonker actually say that?
Wishing him a rapid rendezvous with some faulty high voltage wiring, I turned quickly to take my leave. By now, young Jim had the future of sound on his ears and was soon nodding in time to some unknown frequencies; the inverse wave with ambient noise-cancel, now once more fully engaged. (Photo/Art: Photobucket.com)

Russell Brand: On and On...

"He may live in Los Angeles now, but Russell Brand is still a Londoner at heart." (Daily Mail,UK)

The 36-year-old goby one while living the good life in LA, in a patriotic moment lasting a nano second thought of the Homelanders during the recent riots back in London. "I've lived all over the place. Know every dark ally and been on benders in every local knees-up pub. Like a real little cockney a was; what with ma Jellied ells and pearly coat. Ah, what days and nights..." He banged on in the nauseating way that only expats can. Kind of similar to when New Year arrives and they're overcome with amnesia about the old country they couldn't jettison quickly enough. "The guilt felt for not being in the effected borough." he continued, outdoing himself with self flagellation.
Well you affected bleetin' scruffer. What stopped you flying back to Blighty?  

Castration!

 "In the United States, more than 17 million bulls are castrated yearly that range in age from 1 day to 1 year old." (Drovers Magazine)

It's only a nasty rumour Billy.

Castration. Well as can be imagined, this procedure is not too popular with young friskers. "Ya see, it's a mite like gettin' your goolies hit by a baseball bat...over an' over again." If it's that painful, why do it? Hank thought for a  moment, rubbing his three day unshaven chin which sent sparks flying into the hay loft. "You from the city boy? The question being purely rhetorical as he observed wryly my expensive, inappropriate flamboyant attire." John Ford. He's dead you know." Having dampened down the fire, he continued. "Now, if sweet meat's your delicacy, without 17 million bullocks' bollocked...you followin' me? Fancy restaurants pay tops for 'em." I wiped the last vestige of an impromptu up-chuck from my jacket and ridicules boots. "So, that's about it city fella. Reduced aggression, lower testosterone an' more back-pocket dollars."
Hank wandered off with a couple of knife sharp ranch hands, to surprise more young bucks who will have nil job prospects on this Ponderosa.

Tax? Pay More Rich Folks!

 "Warren Buffett has called for Congress to make him and his 'mega-rich friends' pay more income tax. (BBC)

The billionaire investor and philanthropist said; "We filthy rich folks should pick up our fair share of the tab... do more to help plug the deficit." Warming to his theme of, "give it away you fist tight graspers," he continued.
"Those earning more than $1m (£600,000), and a higher rate for those on over $10m." Mr Buffett demanded of the many housed, off shore tax shy fraternity. "I pay tax at a lesser rate than my office gals. Bazaar or what! It's just not rational and hardly acceptable." What of the arguments made by Republicans, Mr Buffett? "If I was a cow poke in cattle country, I'd explain like a well brought up Texan that some of the GOP should stop taking like a  hosse's ass."

Spies, Pakistan And Chinese Plunder!

"ISTAN'S intelligence service probably let Chinese military engineers examine the wreckage of a super-secret US stealth helicopter that crashed during the May raid on Osama bin Laden's compound in Abbottabad." (SunHearld.com)

But surely everything has it's price, my Mandarin friends?

An unnamed official from PR Pakis, familiar with the usual double-dyed behaviour of the US's non compliant ally ,took it personally. "My friends, on behave of our nation, I'm deeply hurt." began Mr A from the Ministry of Double Speak, "my friends, he repeated; how can you think such things? I don't even own a camera and only once have I seen what you describe as a helicopter? We are your comrades in battle as steady as the moving desert sands; we chaps of Pakistan stand shoulder-to-shoulder with our dear American blood brothers, and by the Scimitar of Saladin we surely can't be trusted one decimal place. As to the the matter of your sneek-past-us Black Hawk; there is no truth in rumours that sensitive information has wafted towards Beijing. I sware on the waterlogged bones of one recently martyred; personally I've no knowledge of bamboo shoots or birds in the nest soup. I will spit on the graves of these soon to be deceased tall tale tellers. The oriental gentlemen some of you press persistently reference, were only in our country to open a chain of honorable Peking Shootin' Duck take-outs." He fingered his worry beads slowly, a swift brow moping then some major grooming of the horse hair of a moustache that occupied the mantelpiece atop his lip. "And now my friends of the western media; before the public holiday of traitor hanging, I shall take one more of your probing no-holds-barred questions.Yes Nick?" "Er, thanks. Nicky Naive, New York Times. "You really are on our side, aren't you...?
A Mexican wave of amusement rippled around the press room and out into the warm, still evening air. (Photo: AFP).