No Grasp Hillary Clinton 'Confident'!

US debt; ongoing saga:  A heap more borrowing is required to meet the government's agreed over the top spending plans. "It's ability to raise taxes is inhibiting us from being totally financially irresponsible under current laws, so we'll be changing these sissy rules ASAP," reported the Gov spokesperson with a very fetching neck tie. The Secretary of State who reluctantly remains Slick Willy's wife, waded into a subject completely beyond her acuity.  Obvious even to class dodgers with 85 days total schooling, her 'confident' statement betrayed a titchy problem with graph interpretation. (see above).  

Loads Of Water In Universe Discovered!

"'These findings are very exciting,' added co-discoverer Jason Glenn, from the University of Colorado. 'We not only detected water in the farthest reaches of the universe, but enough to fill Earth's oceans more than 100 trillion times.'" (Science a GoGo). That's great news Jas, but remember we lost the fins a while back so lets not have too much of your salty discovery down here
Meanwhile, Pete the plumber is very excited. "Hey Trace. Guess what. Way out in space-land, blokes with big telescopes have found loads of the wet stuff. Now here's the BIG one I've been waitin' for. Yeah, yeah so I'm a bit tight for cash up front, but Trace just think if a wins the tender; what a break"! For Pete the pipe man, a self taught, uninsured overconfident birk, an enhanced grasp of distance might just increase his understanding of the challenges posed. Nevertheless, 9/10 for enterprise.

WATER! The New Super Liquid!

(Photo: stagesofbeauty.com)

Just think. After only two weeks, incredible results were noted after the woman were allowed access to drinking water!

(Photo: RF)

Seventy per cent of women voluntarily taking part in Dr Ali-Aqua's test noticed an increase in their skin’s hydration. Mary P. from Acton, England was very typical of the praise, said:  "Parched? I should say so. Mouth and tongue Death Valley dry an' smelling like a badger's arse." But worth it? "Well, just you have a butchers at my pic! An aqua angle we call the doc. Now. you'll have to excuse moi as I'm off out clubbin' to find me a young chicken".

Basketball Anyone?

(Photo: RF)

Basketball's a team sport with two teams of five players who must be at least 13 feet tall with shovel hands;  find it ridiculously easy to loop up-court in two strides, bouncing a ball once before popping it thru an 18'' hoop just 10 feet off the ground. You're not obliged  to rim swing, but show-offs can. Now, you're permitted to dribble but it's a no no to travel or carry a Kit-Kat in your drooping shinny pants.Typically the tallest, which defacto means anyone,  plays 'centre' 'small or power forward' but the NBA once allowed a 5' 3'' Muggsy Bogues to play 'cause he could run in-between anyone's legs completely unnoticed. There's also 'guard' and 'shooting guard' both very handy when the opposition threatens a four figure win. Girls/Women have their game too; and if you have a horse or donkey bring them along, though they won't be allowed to take part in the Basketpool version. You certainly can't fault hoop rim lovers for the variety of venues to go brain dead at. But really, it's the anticipation of much disruptive physical contact which loyal fans are keeping awake for. The preferred climax to an evening of amnesia is always a brilliant free for all punch-up and ass kicking rumpus, after which the near satanic away coach is chased from the arena before he's lynched on court. Is basketball popular? Well, it certainly is for those who don't blink much and like scores in the region of the number of grains of sand on an average beach. But, would I like watching it? Perhaps worth considering if you've already exhausted your bucket list and rigor mortis holds no fear. Chess it ain't.

Who REALLY Owes What To Whom?

(Photos: NASA)

 The Debt: Around $14.3 trillion. If one dollar

 bills are laid end to end from Earth to yonder Moon how many times could they go back and forth? Well, I don't know either but they're nice pics...now here's a curios thing:

      Is Mr President, an old Donkey and Elephant up on the Hill     

telling you salt of the earth citizens of these United States all they know about Debt Mountain stuff?

     

   Do the major new quiz below to find out!

Q 1: How much of the debt does the US of A owe to Jonny foreigner? Is it (A) $3.6  (B) $4.5 (C) $6.7 trillion.

   
           Q 2: How much of the debt does America owe to America?
               Is it: (A) $1.8 (B) $2.8 (C) $ 9.8 (D) $ 6.3 trillion.

(Photo: Royalty Free)

* If your answer to Q1 is (B) take one slice of apple pie.
   And for Q2 if you said (C) as well, then add ice cream.
 

(Photo:Royalty Free)

Perhaps a little surprised at that, eh? So what could you do? 
Well...here's the plan: cancel all the American debt ($9.8) trillion to America IE yourselves; then tell Jonny foreigner to bugger-off. See now you can have that new off-roader and a ranch in Arizona.

*Note: The correct answer figures are for real!

Al-Shabaab says: No Famine Here!

(CNN) -- Islamist militants in Somalia have reversed a pledge to allow foreign aid agencies to operate in famine-struck regions in the nation."

To his eternal credit, George Cloony has spent time and money trying to make it widely known to the world at large that Al-Shabaab (aka: Islamic genocide brigade) have never been out of business.

Farrakhan: Leader of the Nation of Islam.

And why no condemnation from the smiling bow-tied one? I guess his take on it might be: Islamic brothers simply doing G-d's work. 

Beer Reclassified!

"Russia classifies beer as alcohol! Until now anything containing less than 10% alcohol in Russia has been considered a foodstuff."(BBC)  

Major Disappointment For Mr Six Pack! After 20 years of quaffing the golden nectar at 4.8% proof, there's scant pride in having cultivated that big extended belly; for on the Russian Richter it's really just the equivalent of having downed 6,523 Milkybars.

Many years ago, far away in the Land of Vodka, a lonely Ivan on the grave yard shift deep down in missile city, conscientiously worked his way through a 9.9% proof sandwich. And 19 year old Ivan was very partial to the contents of his Tupperware box. Between addressing his 9.9% friends, he'd nibble a wee choc bar as a nod to healthy living, before returning his faltering and rapidly failing attention to some serious 9.9% throat dispatching; attempting all the while to avoid any meaningful contact with a large red button.

 (Circa 1970)

Meanwhile somewhere in South Dakota, Mike & Mac, joint key holders to the portals of Armageddon, presided over a brood of Minuteman ballistics, medicating their nasal passages through many a weary hour...

Smell the roses every day.