Biden: Chinese US Debt Is Safe-ish.

"Giving a speech at Sichuan University, Mr Biden yet again sought to reassure China that its €830 billion holding of US Treasury bonds was safe." (Irish Times)

Ho hum... just one more act of perjury.

“It's safe in our hands and I'll say exactly what I'm told to say as it's not my expertise; gaffs are more my thing," volunteering the soon to be obvious. "As you students of international commerce and finance will know, we've been busy putting our financial house in order by Benny B banging out billions of our soon to be worthless bucks." Thought: I think that might have been my first little G today. "My personal preference is to buy the old trouper Gary U.S. Bonds. He's on the road with some banging new tracks and it's much the safer bet than our Fed Bonds." Asked an opinion of Obama's soon to be released one star rehash? "Well...lets just say, 'Another 4 Wasted Years' ain't no spine tingler...one for his hard core, I guess..."

Mr Biden, when out and about for lunch and cornered by some press near a live what-the-hell-is-this street vendor's, reluctantly agreed that any time soon US interest rates will be something other than planned. He also made a virtue of Treasury Bonds falling following the downgrade. "They're even more sought after than ever! Leprechauns and blind faith are great market tools." Joe spluttered enthusiastically, some interesting street food particles alighting on the faces of less nimble press hacks.“We are still the single-best bet in the world in terms of where to invest if you want to be a pauper before Cinder's coach returns to pumpkin status." In his summing up Mr Biden concluded, "We are the two biggest engines and the two largest economies working together to buoy the world economy."
I guess Joe must have missed that US/China friendly-fraternal ball bouncer of a game.

(Photo top: Ng Han Guan/AP).

Google's Amazing Amazon River 'Street View' Project Begins!

"Google is expanding its Street View service into some of the world's most remote places. It will photograph the River Amazon in Brazil" (BBC)

Here's the Google boat in action and to whet your appetite for more I've a few exclusive 'street views' of the Amazon to share with you! There's a lot of water. There's a lot of trees.

"Nobody knows we are here", said Maria do Socorro Siva Mendonca. Maria is a local. She likes water...and trees.

A Muddy Amazon.

FAS project leader Gabriel Ribenboim said: "It is very important to show the world what a big river this is, and what a lot of water and trees look like."

A Cloudy Amazon.

Can't wait for the next 10,000 miles? Nor can I!

Google Boat Lost...In The Amazon.

(Photos: as stated or Copyright Control).

Under Pressure?

"Syria's Arab neighbours pile on pressure on Assad regime," (BBC)

So glad you could make it, Bashar my friend.

More Gulf Arab nations have withdrawn their ambassadors from Syria. "We've kicked them (Assad and Co) out of the sand pie making contest and that's just for starters!" said the spokesman for Kings, Despots and OPRF (one party rule forever). "The Arab Consolidation Committee," he informed us, "is serious about this Syrian restlessness. We're withdrawing many Ambassadors for what we in the trade call "consultations."   We've learnt as much as we can from our Syrian brothers about how to stick the boot in and other inventive techniques for putting down the undesirable elements who don't know their place." The spokesman stubbed out his bad habit and lit another. "So, you're Willy Western, new press boy in town. You'll soon be writing nonsense about Arab Springs, eh? Habebe; this is how it works. We Arabs say whatever we think that pant suited woman of Obama's wants to hear. Same for all of you fans of elected governments.We have a big tent-in, invite all the Carter family and Arab Spring simpletons; then after goats head soup and a camel race, pack them all off back home."

Ten to one the King's lame nag wins.

"But... we in the West regard as highly significant that no less a figure as King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has publicly criticised Bashar al-Assad!"

"Yeah, right" as you might say in the land of the free.  (Photos: Copyright Control)

Je Veux Pisser. Now!

"Depardieu 'apologies' for publicly urinating on jet" (BBC)

Gerald Depardieu.

Gerald's friend and fellow actor Edouard Baer said, "For a start, you taxi and are held for three hours on the runway with the lav a no-go area. Sure, the cabin crew can take a leak at their leisure, while we the paying public have to do the cross legs and knot-tie. Gerald has prostate problems and had not been drinking." The French thespian, now center stage went on, "Many here have been in similar situations and it's even worse when traveling with a child."
 The current policy is a puddle waiting to happen. They get you on board the plane in FULL knowledge that it's not going anywhere, anytime soon. So lets keep the fidgety bastards from wondering around and getting in our way. We'll do the old for your safety 'cause it's really quite dangerous parked on the tarmac: Seat Belt Fasten Sign. Yeah, that's always a winner! Then Captain Plummy Voice Superior will announce over the intercom to the flying cigar box trap-ees, some nonsense about the weather five days ago in Timbuktu causing an unexpected delay here and how they really are sorry. Some of the more probable reasons? Cabin crew late for duty because they partied too much and couldn't be arsed to get out of their kip on time; control tower staff asleep on duty and just the usual airport incompetance. Whatever the reasons we've missed our spot and loo lock-down will remain in force.
Next time when in similar circumstances, let's just all do the Depardieu until the toilet Nazis change their policy.

O'Donnell: Morgan's Creepy Q's'

"Piers Morgan's questions were creepy then went into a personal nature and started prying."(msnbc)

"Imagine if the Pope were there. Would he have asked him, 'Do you still hang out with some of your friends from Hitler Youth days? C'mon, we talked about it times ago. It's old hat. I didn't even want to do the Piers Morgan show quite honestly because I knew I'd get, well you know...kinda want to wriggle in the chair a bit. He's well know to resort to certain kind of talk just before he goes on air."  At a later interview by someone called Ging-gus, Ms O'Donnell was asked about her vast collection of broom-sticks. "I am not a witch. Just because I'm an avid collector of flying wooden objects and turned down a Swiffer commercial."

Still using that olde broom gals?

She paused to kick her aid's chin. "I ignored my gut feeling on that. Passed on a largish check listening to that peep. If I wasn't a born again girl, he'd be a yesterday's man. Boy, is there a lesson there!" she said as she allegedly ripped off yet another mic.

Aliens May Destroy Us!

 'The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilisations.' (Guardian, UK)

Hi. My name's Malc. Please read our report before the aliens do. Thanks earthlings.   

"A preemptive strike would be particularly likely," said one of the mushroom munchers.  "In Star Trek:  The Next Generation, in a fav episode of mine our macho expansion got right up the ETIs' antenna," he enthused with the countenance of the above cover. "A mega dysfunctional civilisation like ours may become increasingly difficult to destroy later," he announced. Convinced by his own and co-authors' off the wall assumptions, I ventured to ask Malc the Muncher if by any chance a man named Al Gore had opened his wallet? And also, could he reveal to me before it was time to make contact with planet Zog, just how he and the others had...without a little bitty evidence...all converged at the truth of their hypothesis? He ignored my reasonable question contenting himself with the old getting-quickly-under-your-desk exercise. "At some point, we will be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth's atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions," Their report also stated that, "Green" aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet."
Yes, of course they will Malc. Now you and your co-authors can come out from under your desks now and just step into this nice, quiet, cushioned room...  (Photo: Copyright DC Comics)

Pandas, Latinos And Can-Cleaning...

Juan. Stop flushing already.

"The federal government said on Wednesday it is suing a Panda Express restaurant in West San Jose for making its Latino workers clean toilets." (San Jose News).
"Asian employees dog lazy. Say with much smile going on, they get sea sick very much sooner," so said a green-gilled Latino with no hint of a name."These people needing a good brush-scrubbing from me after can-john duties."

Coming soon: the deluxe land version. 

A U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commissioner alighted from his stretched Humvee and stated,  "Hispanic workers get the shitty end of the stick. They work counter, clean the floating up-stream rest room, then are expected to get back on table duty, while Asian employees spectate, scratch their butts and spit."
A Panda spokesman stated that the company will not comment pending litigation regarding the alleged treatment of non Asian staff at the West San Jose establishment. (Photos: RV)