TRUMP SURPRISES!

Nancy Pelosi: sitting in her wee white dress like Miss Haversham from "Great Expectations" at Trump's first big gig. A menopausal muli millionairess with the mentality of a teenage trope queen. Pelosi and her simpleton sisterhood followers proved last night that they are another good reason for being mucho grateful that bitch Hillary got the stuffing she deserved.

I shall sit here until that dreadful Mr Trumpers
 calls and begs my forgivness

HOW MUCH CHICKEN IS IN YOUR CHICKEN?

According to some testing by a Canadian lab, Subway chicken contains less than 50 percent chicken DNA. From another perspective, the University of Guelph food scientist Ben Bohrer said he does not know how the products that the Marketplace investigation tested were made but he explained what is known as restructured products in the fast food industry. Restructured products are in essence ground meat or smaller pieces of meat that were bound together with other ingredients so they would last longer, taste better, and even cost cheaper.
Fighting back, Subway Canada said in a statement that they cannot confirm the veracity of the lab tests' results. The company said that its oven roasted chicken and chicken strips contain only 1 percent or less of soy protein, which it uses to stabilize mixture and texture. The company added that all of the chicken items it offers are 100 percent white meat chicken that has been marinated, oven-roasted and grilled.
"We tested our chicken products recently for nutritional and quality attributes and found it met our food quality standards," Subway said, adding that it will look into the matter with its supplier to ascertain that the chicken it offers to customers meet the highest standards it has set for all of its ingredients and menu items. Mine's a veggie burger, hold the mayo.

Hey! Do  I look like soy sausage?

ARE WE ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE?

Let's get the dumbest and most arrogant of human questions out of the way a.k.a. are we alone in the universe? 
A model to help get your head around things. If you could count every grain of sand from ever beach and desert on earth, the number would still not add up to the number of stars in the known universe. And if only one advanced tech society existed in every know galaxy in the universe (ours being the Milky Way galaxy with a hundred billion suns, so that's us, folks) the universe would still be filled with billions of advanced life species. 
Now, having got that out of the way...the discovery of seven Earth-like planets orbiting a nearby star has really gotten everyone who has an interest in the possibility of space colonization thinking. Found by NASA's orbiting Spitzer Space Telescope and the ground-based TRAPPIST Telescope, there seems to be at least seven Earth-sized planets orbiting the star TRAPPIST-1.

The biggest surprise was that three or four of these planets are in the so called Goldilocks Zone - not too far from the star, not too close, not too big for a planet, not too small – a sweet spot where liquid water is stable on the right-sized planet with an atmosphere on which life could develop or survive if transplanted. 
But this very young sun - only 500 million years old, 39 light years away from our Solar System - is an ultra red dwarf; so no sun tans to be had there, then. 
Even if complex life had not yet evolved in the TRAPPIST-1 system, the distance to these new worlds for humans to screw up, is not reachable with anything that we have - or likely to have - for who knows how long.  
Even traveling at near the speed of light, 39+ earth years is still be a bugger of a long, one way journey. Nope, this is for your future robot cousins to contemplate, not we organics. 

A mock up view of the TRAPPIST-1 system. 

LA LA COCK-UP!

There are brilliant films made by many countries - sometimes even American films - which will never get a gong; who mostly struggle for financial backing to be made at all; and then there's the uphill battle to find a distributor.

Meanwhile...the "La La Land" cast was on stage hugging one another in that luvvie, kissy-kissy way of theirs; giving speeches and having an arty-farty orgasm. Then, producer Jordan Horowitz stopped 'em short and announced suddenly that "Moonlight" had won. What a FU! Were the envelop openers coked up?
"Moonlight" the winner, not us "La la" folks?  Painted smiles that only the Tinsel Town prick and prickesses can fake. As the "Moonlight" cast and crew took the stage, chaos ensued. Well, what does one expect from Crew Socialism?

HALF BAKED FRENCH LOAF!

France is home to an estimated 8,250 known hardcore Islamic radicals. However, only 17 submitted applications for deradicalization - and only nine arrived for the programe. Presumably the others couldn't get time off from bomb making class. Not a single resident has completed the full ten-month curriculum.
 I'd like to hear what the first day lesson was:
Gather round class. Relax, put on the blindfold and  think nice thoughts...or perhaps you have a very special lady friend? What is teacher going to ask you to do? Oh, it's called a Trust Game. You simply leap off the fourth floor window sill and some Jewish fellas will catch you in a blanket before you hit the ground. Sounds fun, eh?
"Deradicalizing someone does not happen in six months. These people, who have not been given an ideal and who have clung to Islamic State's ideology, are not going to get rid of it just like that. There is no 'Open Sesame.'" said one hopeful instructor.
"The deradicalization program is a total fiasco. Everything must be rethought, everything must be redesigned from scratch." Senator Esther Benbassa said with the look of the desperate.
Which of the many dim wit bewildered actually thought up this Euro wasting exercise? Memo to  Senator E Benbassa: I guarantee complete success with said death cult followers; and financially speaking, it will be oh so much cheaper: Shoot the fuckers.

FARRAKHAN LITE COMES SECOND!

It was a nail biter and the vote was tight; the victor was required to win 218 out of 435 votes. Perez the Pretzel won 235 to the 200 won by the Farrakhan Lite Ellison. Both men appealed for unity as each of them spoke after the results were announced. Perez immediately asked Ellison to join him as his deputy chair. Ellison responded in a statement, “I look forward to helping the Democratic Party in any way that I can."
How about pissing off to some place south of the border...like that socialist slimming school better know as Venezuela? And will Harvard law Professor Alan Dershowitz, - a damn decent kind of chap - will he now only half leave the Dems?
Meanwhile, Hillary is going to be leading the Dems "resistance"and will be with her shock troops 'every step of the way'. How she will achieve this feat while situated in her sulk room without resorting to quantum entanglement will be interesting.

Hi comrades, it is I, The Petzel. But worry not; for when I'm
indisposed, you'll have Farrakhan Lite in charge of proceedings.

SO...ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS RACIST!

The Dems just can't enough of stupidity. Their latest journey into the twilight zone is an attack on the business language of the world: English.
The chief writing instructor at the University of Washington, Tacoma, is trying to dismantle the rules of grammar because he believes they are racist—and the college has given its endorsement to his campaign.
The writing center director, Dr. Asao Inoue - with his brains in his behind it would seem - is the genius. The students’ regressive notions of language has to be destroyed, is Dr Doom's message; who by the way is a "searcher of anti-racist writing assessment." According to his Twitter profile, he's published two books on how to promote a “socially just future” a.k.a. by dismantling academic structures that reward proper grammar and usage.
Just when you thought the loony brigade and thought police couldn't lay any more of their shit on you; they can!

Right now kiddies, who can draw me a kicking K?