Michael Vick

"Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles agreed Monday to a six-year contract that again makes the Pro Bowl quarterback one of the NFL's highest-paid players. NFL Network's Michael Lombardi reported the contract is worth $100 million, according to a league source, and NFL Network insider Jason La Canfora also cited a league source in reporting that $36 million of the total amount is guaranteed." (NFL.com)

Michael Vick.

You still that real old softy, dog lovin' guy Mr Vick? Of course you are; even though some folks might thinks it's a tad obscene them amount of football playin' reward $$$$$'s considerin' all things. Anyways...here's a couple of  snaps to sweep you back to them good ol' dog fightin' lovin' days, that'll melt that ol' soft heart of yours.

(Photos: Copyright Control)

Log A Jog...

"Jogging beats weight lifting for losing belly fat." (usatoday.com)

"All day couch kipping, deep fried anything and that 2am Elvis snack will perhaps not achieve the desired tapered tum look" Thus spoke Dr of the bleedin' obvious with the findings of an eight month study tucked under his ample belt. "Resistance training is great if you're in an occupied country, but for improving strength and increasing lean body mass, you may have to press the horizontal release button and relinquish the four seater sofa once in a while."

Just what the hell is it, Bob?

The lead author and exercise physiologist Cris Slentz said in a Duke news release. "If you are overweight, which two-thirds of the population is, and you want to lose belly fat, aerobic exercise is the better choice because it burns more calories."
Open new file tomorrow: Bleedin' Obvious 1.

Choco Pig Out, Live Forever!

 "Heart experts say more leisure and some chocolate are good for you." (AFP)

"A greater part of any proposed daily physical activity in leisure time should be vigorously avoided. And why? Well, you can't ride a bike on black ice while pigging a box of your fav life savers."

Two hands; always much better than one.

Dr E. Expert popped a few in before he continued; first checking that funding from Chocolate World Inc. was indeed secure for a further five gobbly good years. "It's all based on the individuals own perception of greed intensity," Dr Eddy E said, while wiping the funding grin and orangy twirl remnants from his face. "In Choc-o-land there's no scientific evidence to prevent one from an Olympian 48hour 'Mammoth Maximus' choc-in; though beginners best bring along a biggish bowl and a non squeamish friend." But what about the 1950's Readers Digest section about laughter being the best medicine?  "Hm...not exactly chemo," cautioned Eddy. "And as for hospital beds surrounded by flowers, foliage and fruit fly? All equally useless, as well as pissing off anal Nurse Tidies country wide".
In yet another report, Mitch Muller a professor at the University of Lazyland School of Medicine found similar proof in his newly funded study entitled, 'Similar Proof.' When asking volunteers to first watch a stressful movie such as "Bambi" followed by the yoga yawn promo, "Double Death 3" the Muller and his independent research team found both films irrelevant. Whereas, blood vessel linings, pulse and unhealthy responses to some questions about the vasoconstrictions were detected only in those who swapped chocs for popcorn before the lights-out fumble test.
Eighty per cent milky Muller stated that Lazyland's evidence had concurred with all the other institutes of bias and fat check receivers.
Off the record a perplexed Muller said, "The vigorous scientific pursuit of truth must take place somewhere....I suppose?"

Gaga? Radio's OK, But Please, No Lady.

The Chinese Ministry of Culture doesn't want disturbing. No Gaga Lady!

Gaga

And certainly none of these Backstreet Bandeeto Boys. "We all hetro in Culture Ministry and all Peep's Republic China."

So... what's on offer?

Not Gaga.

 "Earth Wife - special mass culture, Liaoning Province, will stage a grand party in Beijing.
National theater drama performances plays good will be held in Shanghai.
Thirteenth Wuqiao Acrobatics Festival held in October.
South Korea Serious Games Forum will held in Changzhou. Deepen cultural restructuring, prosperity and development of cultural undertakings and cultural industries. By special agreement." (Ministry of Culture).

The above all just too exciting for you? Well...there's always the chill room...

Very gaga.




(Photos: as shown and Copyright Control).

'Irene, Goodnight Irene'

My friends. An mandatory evac is about to be announced, so it's 

(Photo: NASA)

offski to the hills! Will be back asap...

'Leezza... Where Art Thou'?

Could a love-struck member of the Loyal Orange Lodge (Chapter 274, Belfast N.I.) be the real reason why Libya abandoned its WMD's?

Tell your boys to split the scene, Ricey baby.

The evidence: a big photo album full of Ricey pics. Written on the front page of the album is, "We had a super time on my teapot ride, but I knew she was a Bush babe from the start. And what chance I; but a simple man of desert winds and terror plots." In an Al Jaz channel spot in '07  there was the now famous, 'Leezza, Leezza, Leezza, my darling African hot one."episode. On the albums last page, written in the blood of some unknown goat, "I'd have sold my camels along with my many womanly guardians, for just one desert starred night with she who had taken hold of my lonely Bedouin heart."

You're is the blue cup Ricey: my rose that fadeth not, nor fragrant petals fall.

In '08, Ricey had dinner once more with the Desert Prince of Compound Central, where the photo album was recently found by the Boys from Benghazi.

Gaddafi: Nearly!

"Libyan commandos fighting Muammar Gaddafi came close to capturing the toppled leader on Wednesday when they raided a private home in Tripoli." (Reuters)

Yes, this is my best profile, so take me like being Mr Rambo.

"When we got here, Gaddafi had left a note: 'Cold coke, salami and Semtex in fridge are mine!...dog cookies are for you lot of traitorous, camel herding scum.'
After decoding the note, the sharpest minds from Arab intelligence along with the Libyan rebels - who do a lot of  posing when not firing their guns at absolutely nothing and anything - all agreed that MG had been in this very kitchen."When we got here about 10am and found a cheeky note and other incriminating evidence we   suspected that he had spent at least one night here." said sharpy, rather overly pleased with his forensic deductions. "If we hadn't stopped for coffee and a full English heart -stopper of a breakfast, we'd have apprehended our former master and leader. The desert fox is somewhere...perhaps even here in Tripoli?" he said on his way to his photo shoot.