O'Donnell: Morgan's Creepy Q's'

"Piers Morgan's questions were creepy then went into a personal nature and started prying."(msnbc)

"Imagine if the Pope were there. Would he have asked him, 'Do you still hang out with some of your friends from Hitler Youth days? C'mon, we talked about it times ago. It's old hat. I didn't even want to do the Piers Morgan show quite honestly because I knew I'd get, well you know...kinda want to wriggle in the chair a bit. He's well know to resort to certain kind of talk just before he goes on air."  At a later interview by someone called Ging-gus, Ms O'Donnell was asked about her vast collection of broom-sticks. "I am not a witch. Just because I'm an avid collector of flying wooden objects and turned down a Swiffer commercial."

Still using that olde broom gals?

She paused to kick her aid's chin. "I ignored my gut feeling on that. Passed on a largish check listening to that peep. If I wasn't a born again girl, he'd be a yesterday's man. Boy, is there a lesson there!" she said as she allegedly ripped off yet another mic.

Aliens May Destroy Us!

 'The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilisations.' (Guardian, UK)

Hi. My name's Malc. Please read our report before the aliens do. Thanks earthlings.   

"A preemptive strike would be particularly likely," said one of the mushroom munchers.  "In Star Trek:  The Next Generation, in a fav episode of mine our macho expansion got right up the ETIs' antenna," he enthused with the countenance of the above cover. "A mega dysfunctional civilisation like ours may become increasingly difficult to destroy later," he announced. Convinced by his own and co-authors' off the wall assumptions, I ventured to ask Malc the Muncher if by any chance a man named Al Gore had opened his wallet? And also, could he reveal to me before it was time to make contact with planet Zog, just how he and the others had...without a little bitty evidence...all converged at the truth of their hypothesis? He ignored my reasonable question contenting himself with the old getting-quickly-under-your-desk exercise. "At some point, we will be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth's atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions," Their report also stated that, "Green" aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet."
Yes, of course they will Malc. Now you and your co-authors can come out from under your desks now and just step into this nice, quiet, cushioned room...  (Photo: Copyright DC Comics)

Pandas, Latinos And Can-Cleaning...

Juan. Stop flushing already.

"The federal government said on Wednesday it is suing a Panda Express restaurant in West San Jose for making its Latino workers clean toilets." (San Jose News).
"Asian employees dog lazy. Say with much smile going on, they get sea sick very much sooner," so said a green-gilled Latino with no hint of a name."These people needing a good brush-scrubbing from me after can-john duties."

Coming soon: the deluxe land version. 

A U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commissioner alighted from his stretched Humvee and stated,  "Hispanic workers get the shitty end of the stick. They work counter, clean the floating up-stream rest room, then are expected to get back on table duty, while Asian employees spectate, scratch their butts and spit."
A Panda spokesman stated that the company will not comment pending litigation regarding the alleged treatment of non Asian staff at the West San Jose establishment. (Photos: RV)

All Shook Up

It was long before I knew anything about Tupelo or Memphis. Sun Records, Sam Phillips or the fair ground colonel. In '57 aged twelve, in a small sea side town the eight week long school holiday had begun. And one sunny morning on a Saturday I sat in Togs Cafe; pocket money, chilled Coke, sandy shore hands and then, some girl played the Juke Box.

Tog's of Troon

We all have places of association with a song from the beginnings of youth; of those special to us moments triggered in the present from a car radio or on passing an open window; when briefly we're delivered to days of beach time friendships where those times-ago faces remain, but names from these simple, summer days have faded.

I away used to sing: 'come on su-gar.' not ever connecting the obvious. Tog's Cafe is no more, but now at least I know the words...   (Photos: Copyright Control)

All Shook Up: T22

GREAT! Scrot Get's Four Years!

Here's one of the 'somewhat shocked'

"A Cheshire man who was jailed for using Facebook to incite disorder during last week's riots is to appeal against his sentence," his solicitor has said.
Jordan Blackshaw, from Marston, was jailed for four years at Chester Crown Court on Tuesday, along with Perry Sutcliffe-Keenan, 22, from Warrington. Blackshaw's solicitor said his 21-year-old client and his family were 'somewhat shocked by the sentence'. (BBC)
How about, if the scrot's appeal fails they double the sentence? As it stands they could charge a daily occupancy rate same as some Med dive would. Pay-as-you-stay kinda. I can hear the usual bleedin' heart snivelers already chanting the Human Rights chorus. How about if you behave like a scrot, then your Human Rights gets booted back to whence it came; for as it stands, every scurrilous lawyer miss uses it as a get out of jail card for their low life clients. Oh... and it's you the UK tax payer that indirectly pays for Frogmorton, Rippovsnic & Frogmortonson's top of the range Chelsea tractors.  

Audiophile Digital?

"The age of the digital audiophile - someone who demands the highest quality sound reproduction - seems to be upon us. But what are they getting for their money"? (BBC)

Why headphones, I enquired of Jim? "Headphones are my new socially responsible contribution to sound pollution, though the price can dent a youthful pocket." Mr F Loudin from the small unassuming office of SNB (Stopping Noisy Bastards) sat on the edge of Jim's shabby futon, nodding his approval. "Thin walls and big speakers are not a compatible combination, so they had to go." What's next from Mr Insufferable. "You see, the sound from loudspeakers is acoustically contoured by the listeners' head  before reaching the ear drums, and this interaction provides, in the form of crossfeed, phase and amplitude the necessary head-related transfer functions (HRTFs)." The death bore beamed through the ether to his audience of two."On the other hand," he resumed before I could pull his plug, "headphones are in the audio bandwith 20 Hz - 20kHz. Outside that range, sounds are not heard by most, except some 'golden eared' audiophiles!" Having only the brass appendages to keep from being road kill on a very foggy night; did the pompous plonker actually say that?
Wishing him a rapid rendezvous with some faulty high voltage wiring, I turned quickly to take my leave. By now, young Jim had the future of sound on his ears and was soon nodding in time to some unknown frequencies; the inverse wave with ambient noise-cancel, now once more fully engaged. (Photo/Art: Photobucket.com)

Russell Brand: On and On...

"He may live in Los Angeles now, but Russell Brand is still a Londoner at heart." (Daily Mail,UK)

The 36-year-old goby one while living the good life in LA, in a patriotic moment lasting a nano second thought of the Homelanders during the recent riots back in London. "I've lived all over the place. Know every dark ally and been on benders in every local knees-up pub. Like a real little cockney a was; what with ma Jellied ells and pearly coat. Ah, what days and nights..." He banged on in the nauseating way that only expats can. Kind of similar to when New Year arrives and they're overcome with amnesia about the old country they couldn't jettison quickly enough. "The guilt felt for not being in the effected borough." he continued, outdoing himself with self flagellation.
Well you affected bleetin' scruffer. What stopped you flying back to Blighty?